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Emo Patriot Games, Part the First...

And I care, precisely why?
I really, really have to parse exactly why it is that I won't get American citizenship, she said, the thought having been sparked - as it is always - by standing respectfully at attention and not saying the Pledge of Allegiance near the beginning of one of the many meetings I cover.

Twenty-five years, and I still see, or imagine I see, the eyes of meeting attendees wondering why the unpatriotic leftist reporter scum hasn't got her hand on her heart. That's one part normal personal guilt and paranoia, and another part my razorlike reportorial acuity at work. (Notice I don't assign percentages. That way I have plausible deniability on the entire theory.)

And that starts me wanting to scream at the top of my voice, "For the love of all that's holy, folks, I'm not a terrorist because I don't say the Pledge. I'm not even letting the terrorists win because I don't say the Pledge!

I'm CANADIAN!!!!!!"

(More to follow, undoubtedly...)

Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
supergee
Jan. 16th, 2008 10:57 am (UTC)
They probably think you come from a country where they have same-sex marriage, legal weed, and socialized medicine. Pretty scary.
kaffyr
Jan. 16th, 2008 02:56 pm (UTC)
Oh, wait....
maruad
Jan. 16th, 2008 07:23 pm (UTC)
bah just show them the picture of Stephen Harper where he is wearing the cowboy outfit that makes him look like a pathetic gormless sidekick and tell them he is your PM. They will know he is harmless (in this instance appearances are not deceiving)and will assume you are too! They may even let you get them coffee and doughnuts at breaktime.
kaffyr
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:17 am (UTC)
First, I have to tell you how much I love the word "gormless." Second, your humor - and your dead on political skewering of Harper - is what tells me straight off that you're Canadian.

Only if I can serve them Tim bits.
doclnghair
Jan. 16th, 2008 04:09 pm (UTC)
You sure they aren't looking at you because of the "DIE AMERICAN SCUM!" Tee shirt you are wearing?
kaffyr
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:18 am (UTC)
Not moi. I love you crazy fuckers.
belsum
Jan. 16th, 2008 09:07 pm (UTC)
A very good friend of the family is Canadian and we've given her hell for it my entire life - and most of hers as she's been a friend of my dad's since high school!
kaffyr
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:19 am (UTC)
I don't know what it is about us saintly Canucks, but all our 'Merican friends love to give us hell. We smile and take it.

We smile, and smile, and smile....
mmbutler
Jan. 18th, 2008 04:36 am (UTC)
...because you *are* terrorists. Smiling terrorists. 1812 and all that. DAMN YOUR BLACK HEARTS!!!
kaffyr
Jan. 18th, 2008 06:59 am (UTC)
Damn. He KNOWS!!!
mmbutler
Jan. 18th, 2008 07:35 am (UTC)
And then there was that time you gave the French and Indians warts! That was... BAD. You're bastard people. Darn it.
kaffyr
Jan. 20th, 2008 01:52 am (UTC)
Silly American. That's French and Indian wharfs!
(Anonymous)
Jan. 20th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
And the chorus announces "Mais non, we would count coup and then crush your frail human bodies!"

No, on reflection, that's French and Indian Whorfs. Ooops.
kaffyr
Jan. 20th, 2008 02:16 am (UTC)
Given the interest the French had in the fur trade, it could have been the French and Indian Wards.

Ahem.
azmatazz
Jan. 17th, 2008 04:19 am (UTC)
That's something that always got to me. I might be a US citizen, but blind patriotism always bothers me. Scares me. It's more patriotic to question the interests of those in authority than it is to blindly say the pledge every day at 8:00 am.

I've been called on it before as well, and for me it's not that it's uncomfortable to "not be patriotic," but it's uncomfortable to see people not thinking for themselves. Not questioning. Not wondering. In other words, practicing blind patriotism.
kaffyr
Jan. 17th, 2008 07:21 am (UTC)
I always like to remind people that the full quote runs something like this: "My country, right or wrong. When right, to be kept right, and when wrong, to be put right." (Full apologies to anyone who knows the correct quote.) That last line gets forgotten all too often.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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