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Dept. of Just Keep Swimming

Welp.

People of greater faith than I am blessed with, at least of the Byzantine Monotheistic variety, are wont to say god never gives you more than you can deal with. This, of course (I am thinking today), is nonsense.


Although the sun is shining, I'm feeling rather down. Mum is still in a great deal of pain, not only from the surgery, but because lying in bed is physical agony for her right now even without the surgical pain; her tailbone has been damaged enough by many falls that the nerves around it  are permanently overstimulated. In short, she can't get comfortable. Her medical team is not providing her enough pain killer, largely because they don't realize that. I'm going to try to tell them today.

Yesterday, she was not as lucid as she'd been the previous day. The pain played into it, but I am realizing that her mental clarity has retreated at least semi-permanently.  The confusion in her eyes kills me.

And today I got a call from my FB. He's having serious difficulties in school as the semester is ending, and was seeking support and advice. I tried to give both long distance - omigod, is Google video hangout helpful - but when I signed off from him, and after I looked over the latest emails dealing with union stuff at work, I just felt like I wanted to climb into the computer permanently. Gah.

BUT. BUT. There have been good things; Mum finally passed a particular abdominal milestone that should allow her to eat some solids (she is already up to milk, tea, and soup, which was a big step Sunday evening). During her strongest period yesterday, she was also able to get off the bed with some help, and move her body over to a chair. But she could only sit up for six or seven minutes, and once she was back in the bed, her pain increased and her clarity decreas--shut UP !! Focus on the positive!!!

Right?

Oh, and here's a picture of my good friend Al.


20130422_165427
We had a good two hours together yesterday afternoon, catching up and talking about medical systems and journalism (he's a writer who got his start in newspapers.) Since I had felt bad about drifting away from him, this was a good thing. So there you go. And I'm going to chat with BB now, about FB's woes. Wish me luck. Or provide free advice, I'm partial to free advice. Heh.



This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/255432.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.

Comments

( 18 comments — Leave a comment )
maruad
Apr. 23rd, 2013 06:09 pm (UTC)
You have my sympathy. I know what it is like and I sincerely wish you the best though I realize that the best in some situations is still not very good at all. Hang in there kid.
kaffyr
Apr. 23rd, 2013 07:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks - I'm hanging in there, and talking with Mum now. She's doing a little better today. Yay!
earlgreytea68
Apr. 23rd, 2013 06:29 pm (UTC)
Good luck. And ::hugs::
kaffyr
Apr. 23rd, 2013 10:13 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the wishes and hugs.
lost_spook
Apr. 23rd, 2013 07:31 pm (UTC)
Well, good luck, then. ♥
kaffyr
Apr. 23rd, 2013 10:14 pm (UTC)
♥ back to you, my dear. Hope things are going well with you.
laurel
Apr. 23rd, 2013 08:41 pm (UTC)
Hang in there. And hey-- if you need to vent about the negatives, there's nothing wrong with that. This is tough stuff even when there is good in the mix (and even tougher when there isn't so much).

Pain management is so tricky and that tailbone stuff sounds really unpleasant and tricky to manage. Here's hoping they can do something to make her more comfortable.

Good that you got to reconnect with a friend. And I see from another comment that your mother is doing better today so that's excellent.



kaffyr
Apr. 23rd, 2013 10:16 pm (UTC)
Yes, she is doing better. I'm back at the hospital right now, but giving her and my stepdad a little time to themselves. Thanks for your thoughts; I really need and appreciate them.
(Deleted comment)
kaffyr
Apr. 24th, 2013 04:56 pm (UTC)
*belated hugs back*

Thank you so very much; I know you understand loving one's mother and worrying about parents. I hope you day is going well.
a_phoenixdragon
Apr. 23rd, 2013 11:57 pm (UTC)
*hugs you close*

Best advice I can give? Deep breath, hang on and keep talking it out, sweetie. Make time for you, don't feel guilty about it. Give and receive lots of love...

*HUGS*
kaffyr
Apr. 24th, 2013 04:58 pm (UTC)
Getting through it little by little, and making the most of my remaining time here (I start for home at 11 a.m. Saturday morning.)

I have loads of love aimed at me and at my mother, and I love everyone here so very much for the care and affection they hold for my mum.

*hugs*
time_converges
Apr. 24th, 2013 01:25 am (UTC)
Managing hospital/health care for a loved one is so stressful. I'm so sorry you're having to deal with all this! *hugs* The only advice I can offer is to take care of yourself too, so that you can take care of everyone else. And breathe. :)
kaffyr
Apr. 24th, 2013 04:59 pm (UTC)
I'm taking some time for myself as we speak (this little cafe has been such a saving grace in this time!) And I'm lucky to have my brother here on the ground.

Thanks for your thoughts!
mack_the_spoon
Apr. 24th, 2013 04:05 am (UTC)
Many hugs, and your family is still in my thoughts and prayers.


(Also, from my understanding, people who say "God never gives you more than you can handle" are reading it wrong - that passage is supposed to be about temptation, not about hardships. FWIW.)
kaffyr
Apr. 24th, 2013 05:00 pm (UTC)
Thank you; I appreciate the prayers, believer it or not - my mother is a woman of faith.

that passage is supposed to be about temptation, not about hardships. FWIW.)

*slaps forehead* You're right! I'd forgotten that. Thanks for reminding me; there is no temptation going on at the moment. Heh.
mack_the_spoon
Apr. 25th, 2013 04:43 am (UTC)
You're very welcome.

As to the second part - no, I definitely don't think it's *your* fault; I know many, many Christians who use that passage as if it's about trouble, but IMO they're using it wrong (and it bothers me because it seems to imply that if you feel totally overwhelmed you don't have enough faith, which, ugh).
aililinnea
Apr. 25th, 2013 12:56 am (UTC)
Just more hugs.
( 18 comments — Leave a comment )

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