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Dept. of ... Hell, I Don't Even Know

Can I Just Ask ... 

What the fuck is it about the toxic intersection of sex and power in this culture?

And why the hell am I even asking the question?

I mean, I shouldn't have to ask. After all, it's become increasingly clear to me that sex - which humans seem to be confused and frightened about at the best of times - collides now, and has collided forever, or at least since our frontal lobes were developed enough to invent nightmares, with power. And that when it does, the result is 99.9 percent sure to be awful. 

And I'm astonished at myself, astonished that my knowledge of this has come to me as some sort of late-life epiphany. I'd like to say that I've known it at least on some level ever since I started getting curious about sex,or at least since I started having sexual feelings, or certainly at least since I began paying attention to myself and to the world around me. . 

But it's come so damned late in my life. Why was I so blind?

There's another post that I might make, that has to do with my life, in connection with this whole sex + power thing. This isn't that post. 

Right now, I'm just back at the first thing I asked. 

What the fuck is it about people taking sex - a glorious thing - and turning it into a tool of miserable, hateful power? 

We're an awful goddamned species. Or at least a miserable species. 

This entry was originally posted at https://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/681404.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here, but prefer to read over on DW. You can comment there using open ID if you don't have a DW account.

Comments

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )
a_phoenixdragon
Nov. 13th, 2017 01:10 am (UTC)
Yeah...this...I just...all of this. I guess we get so used to grappling with it in the way we do as women, that we have become blind to what happens, even as small instances (though are they ever really small??) happen TO us.

Sad damned state of the world, really. :(

*HUGS*
kaffyr
Nov. 15th, 2017 09:58 pm (UTC)
Hi, my dear; I went to radio silence in the days since then, for various reasons, but I wanted to let you know that you're right. When you get used to micro-aggressions by the time you're 5 ("Girls don't play with engineering sets!" "Be more ladylike!" "He just pulled your hair because he likes you, don't be so sensitive!") it's horrifically easy to internalize everything and then to forget it, at least consciously. Gah.

nucleosides
Nov. 17th, 2017 08:17 pm (UTC)

This, I want to know this. :(

kaffyr
Nov. 17th, 2017 09:08 pm (UTC)
It has in significant part to do with guys hating and/or fearing women, as well as hating/fearing/desiring sex.

However, it seems to have more to do with a horrible mis-mixing of sex and power, than it has strictly to do with mens' fear of and ignorance about women. I say that because gay men and women, transgender men and women, and gender non-conforming people frequently end up being hurt by sex-related power plays, the same way women do.

( 4 comments — Leave a comment )

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