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Brainzzzz

Pain Drain
You know,  I know my way around headaches. You might say I'm a connoisseur of headaches. I'm certainly good at them. In fact, I'm nothing if not a professional when it comes to headaches.

If they're big, I can deal with them. A big headache's like a large and loutish person advancing on you with evil intent - or, if you're particularly unlucky, like some sophisticated, well-dressed sadist of noble lineage and unlimited funds with which to cause you harm.

No matter, though, because that type of headache is an honest opponent. It's almost honorable in its all-but-stated desire to turn your brain into runny cottage cheese (or perhaps rennet.) in a frenzy of misfired neurons, a tangle of bloated or constricted capillaries, and transformation of your frontal lobes into friable asbestos. With a foe such as that, I can lay down an enfilade of painkillers and hot cloths for my eyes, ambush them and beat them to death with codeine, hot showers, and hot tea.

The headaches I can't deal with are the ones that hurt in a minor key, the ones that hang around like that last, unwanted guest, not saying much, not doing much, just denting your couch and not going home so you can get some sleep, damnit.  That's what I have now.

Gah. Go away. Go the fuck away. Don't you have someplace else to be? Don't headaches have places to be, other than in my goddamn head?

Gosh, I love lj. It's just the best place for self-indulgent whinging, neh?


Comments

( 16 comments — Leave a comment )
lyricalviolet
Nov. 13th, 2008 06:34 am (UTC)
HUGS. Hope you feel better honey.
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 07:08 am (UTC)
*accepts hugs with alacrity*

Oh my dear, I'm feeling guilty - I have an answer for your question of yesterday, I haven't forgotten; I'll get it to you in the morning, is that OK?
lyricalviolet
Nov. 13th, 2008 04:51 pm (UTC)
Oh honey don't worry. I'll take any advice you can give, whenever you can give it. I hope your headache's better. Much love!
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 08:35 pm (UTC)
Check your mail, my dear!
jbru
Nov. 13th, 2008 07:11 am (UTC)
Self-indulgent whinging with the best of 'em!

(I hear there's a headache festival in Arizona, maybe yours can go there!)
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 07:22 am (UTC)
Ooo. They go there for the dry climate?
jbru
Nov. 13th, 2008 07:44 am (UTC)
Mostly for the weed. They say it's for the art, but it's really for the weed.
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 08:09 am (UTC)
*snort*
maruad
Nov. 13th, 2008 12:30 pm (UTC)
Not the snort... the weed... can't you read? ;-)
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 02:31 pm (UTC)
Oh dear, I took my thumb off my line in the script. I should never take my eyes off the script ....
cathica
Nov. 13th, 2008 03:43 pm (UTC)
I'm standing behind you. Don't turn around. Don't flinch when I place my open hand against your forehead. Just tip your head forward and lean against it. That's it, I've got you...Warm fingertips trace slow circles at the base of your neck. Breathe...drop your shoulders...The fingers slide up, barely into your hairline, and gently scrub all the way around your head. I comb my fingers through your hair, giving the base of your neck a little more attention. Another deep breath, let it out slowly. This can be repeated as necessary. Let me know. 8)
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 08:36 pm (UTC)
Ahhhhh....

Thank you!

(Do you ever read something that actually physically affects you? Well this made me feel almost as good as a 3D massage.)
madtruk
Nov. 13th, 2008 06:31 pm (UTC)
I nearly spewed my brown rice. Some sort of 'damn I'm in pain but this is friggin' hilarious' warning label should have been attached to this LJ.

lol
kaffyr
Nov. 13th, 2008 08:37 pm (UTC)
My work here is done ....
mjlayman
Nov. 14th, 2008 03:28 am (UTC)
Yep, just whinged over at my place -- my day for codeine.

I hope these sod off.
kaffyr
Nov. 14th, 2008 07:09 am (UTC)
They did. Now I'm heading to bed, in an attempt (I estimate a 77 percent chance of success) to avoid waking up tomorrow with another one. Those are more than satisfactory odds.
( 16 comments — Leave a comment )

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