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Awake and Asleep
     ... and not liking it. Not one bit.
     It's Monday, and kaffyr is whining. The universe is running as it should.
     I cannot seem to move, friends. I cannot move my brain. I cannot get neurons to fire. I cannot think past the next computer game (minesweeper is my current favorite.) 
     I cannot write, although I must.
     I cannot edit, although I must.
     I cannot deal with Real Life, although I must. (The phrase "old credit card debt returns to the front door to serve up unpleasant surprises" is all I shall declare, and you will remain blessedly information free hereafter.)
      I cannot, in short, remove my conceptual ass from the theoretical dime, to get things done what must get done.
     I believe I've mentioned this moral shortcoming before, as it is, most unfortunately, a recurring problem.
     My brain conjectures about the reasons, in an idle fashion (idle being the only fashion in which it can operate, apparently).
     Conjecture, however, don't pay the intellectual rent.
     I don't like being asleep all the time, and I don't know how to change it, right now.



( 10 comments — Leave a comment )
Mar. 30th, 2010 12:57 am (UTC)
Someone was telling me about a friend who was suffering from depression. It sounded a lot like this. I don't know how it is to be dealt with nor if that indeed is the issue. Just saying what I had heard.

p.s. I spent three days reading Questionable Content. My wife was getting pretty upset by the end but I started at the beginning and am not caught up.
Mar. 30th, 2010 05:31 pm (UTC)
Depression is indeed what it is. Despite dealing with depression in general for a long time, it's always a horrid surprise when it returns, or when the cycle hits high again. You always think you know enough to fight it, but you're always reminded that knowing how to fight doesn't mean you do it well.
Mar. 30th, 2010 02:25 am (UTC)
I don't know what to suggest, except maybe if you go outside when it is sunny that will help a little.

Mar. 30th, 2010 12:00 pm (UTC)
I forgot about the insufficient sunlight thing. Always worth a try.
Mar. 30th, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
Yes, absolutely.
Mar. 30th, 2010 05:32 pm (UTC)
I'll be doing that. Sunshine can be a lifesaver, I think; I've been making certain our curtains are pulled back every day, something both Bob and I forget, since we live on the first floor of our building, and sometimes keep them closed for privacy. Right now, I'll jettison privacy for light.
Mar. 30th, 2010 03:26 am (UTC)
Brain fog (isn't that a cool term? really, I love it) is often a part of perimenopause or menopause. All we can do is take good care of ourselves and do our best. Sucks, though, hey?
Mar. 30th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
My meno paused, then stopped, at least three years ago, for which small blessing I thank the universe. I do need to take better care of myself, though. Thanks for the kind thoughts; I appreciate them.
Mar. 30th, 2010 01:43 pm (UTC)
(I see I'm preceded!)
One of my top bookmarks is the weather forecast. Based on that I insist as strongly as I can exert any influence that you go out for a walk today AND another, perhaps even longer, tomorrow.
High today predicted 58; tomorrow, windyer and 70°. Sunny.
Mar. 30th, 2010 05:34 pm (UTC)
Advice taken!
( 10 comments — Leave a comment )

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