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December 23rd, 2014

Dept. of Just Keep Swimming

Whiplash and such

My Christmas season, my holiday season, has been rather schizophrenic, in the non-medical sense of the word. The first couple of weeks were actually pretty good. I've mentioned that we got most of our Christmas presents purchased early on, and that they were things that made us feel good to buy. I also got out almost two dozen cards, something I haven't done in several years. All of those were good things.

Family ChristmasCollapse )

So, all of those things were to the good. So was the fact that I found a small goose and a small turkey that I plan to cook for Christmas dinner.

But other things have started dragging me down, and I'm struggling to fight them off.

old overlords, new overlords, wtfCollapse )

And last night I had a minor dissolution into tears because I abruptly really, really didn't want to host Christmas dinner. I didn't feel as if I'd have the time to put it together, I didn't feel as if we have the space to make it enjoyable for nine people, I didn't have what I consider a clean place to host it in ....

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaauuuuughh! My Brain Isn't Being Logical, and I Am Disapproving of It!

So right now, I'm going off to the home office to see if I can get myself turned around. If I can't do that by the end of the day, I am going to risk my friendships with at least two or three groups of people and tell them that, with many very honest apologies, I can't do Christmas. It's a bit unforgivable (wait, that's like saying "a bit pregnant," isn't it?) but I think it may be a realistic mental-health option for me. I shall know before 6 p.m. or so.

Also, BB has another appointment with the endocrinologist today, and I'm going with him. The last visit was less than optimal and, although we think we'll have better results this time, I'm not looking forward to it.

Also again - nothing written for [community profile] fandom_stocking  yet. My brain isn't working. This is bad.

Fluffy bunnies, I'm just going to think about fluffy bunnies. And kittehz. Must think of kittehz.


ETA: LJ just sent me a message telling me that this post made its top 25 posts of the day. LJ is clearly lying or dying, I'm not sure which.





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