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Dept. of Battling Brain Drain

To The Excellent Personages of My Acquaintance

My Dearest Friends;

Although it distresses me to say this, I find myself in direct and immediate need of brains. Of native wit. Of, dare I say, active and dynamic intelligence. I have, I confess, none of my own right now. In fact I am, I heartily fear, transforming with frightening swiftness into a small kitchen appliance with no more will to meet the Turing test than a ... well, a small kitchen appliance. 

I would therefore be ever so grateful to those of my friends and acquaintances who might have pity on me and send me spare any spare neurons or axons they find lying about. Nay, I cast myself upon their thresholds — your threshold — suppliant and drooling slightly, begging of you that pity and kindness with which you all are replete.

Should you find it in your collected and several natures to respond to my plaint, I pledge a renewed effort to think in linear fashion, to produce and distill concepts ... why even, I might hope, to write up an assignment and tackle the to-do list.

In ending, I am, of course, yr obedient etc. etc.
This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/227867.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.

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( 23 comments — Leave a comment )
lost_spook
Jul. 11th, 2012 08:46 pm (UTC)
I'm about to go to bed. You can have a good-sized portion of my brain, as long as you give it back before I get up in the morning. (I think that should probably work out quite nicely, although I'm a little fuzzy on time zones.)
kaffyr
Jul. 11th, 2012 08:56 pm (UTC)
I shall await your brain portion by the latest post, and promise to return them none the worse for whatever wear I can make of them, by the morning.

Your servant,
kaffyr
lost_spook
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:07 pm (UTC)
Thank you. :-)

I was going to say I had weird dreams last night, but i'm pretty sure it was some sort of Shakespeare/Downton Abbey/Various other early 1900s-based period drama crossover going on in my head, so I don't think I can possibly blame you. ;-)
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:41 pm (UTC)
I acknowledge that such a crossover type dream would also be comfortable within the confines of my skull. Heh.
akirlu
Jul. 11th, 2012 09:12 pm (UTC)
I've knitted the skullcap and all the I-cord necessary but am stalled at the point of needing to pin it and sew down the cord, so, sadly, I cannot yet offer you my brain because it's still in pieces.
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:44 pm (UTC)
I. Am. In. Awe.

Of both the scullcap and your knitting abilities.
sallymn
Jul. 11th, 2012 09:19 pm (UTC)
I'd lend it to you, freely and cheerfully... if I could just recall where I left it when I was using it last... (the fridge. maybe???)
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:46 pm (UTC)
The fridge ... oh, my, are we related? I seem to find my head in the fridge all the time, so it stands to reason (of which I have but a poor pursefull) that my brains might be in there.
*scuttles off to check*
ladymercury_10
Jul. 11th, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
I'm going out of town for a few days, and would be happy to lend you the neurons that are usually allotted for studying. I don't know how I'd get them to you, though, haha.

If it would help, you could imagine that this graphing calculator is very fond of you and ready to lend its aid to any and all computational endeavors!

kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:50 pm (UTC)
Thank you so much! This graph is my new best thinking buddy, at least until my own neurons on found.

(Also, this made me grin all across my face!)
ladymercury_10
Jul. 13th, 2012 02:24 am (UTC)
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I think I got it from Hank Green's Tumblr, originally. :)
kaffyr
Jul. 13th, 2012 03:36 pm (UTC)
This Tumblr thing seems to be popular, but I am afraid of becoming addicted to yet amother timesink. Heh.
ladymercury_10
Jul. 14th, 2012 02:21 am (UTC)
Oh, it's an awful timesink. I had to log myself out and start viewing only the handful of Tumblogs I actually care about, because you can do the reading page infinite scroll for an obscene amount of time.
lonewytch
Jul. 11th, 2012 10:53 pm (UTC)
Well. Let's see, somebody has stolen my meta neurons as i cannot, for the life of me, meta anything at the moment. However. I have a brain brimming full of too many ideas for fic at the moment, but no damn time to write. And i'm sure there is a lot of activity going on up there that is going to waste. So, i have those neurons to spare. There is the problem of getting them to you though. Some sort of mind meld? ;)
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:53 pm (UTC)
somebody has stolen my meta neurons

No! This must not stand! Your meta is too valuable to be lost. I shall embark upon a search for those neurons forthwith, and send them to you with despatch as soon as I come upon them!

Mind melds might do the trick, too.
wendymr
Jul. 11th, 2012 11:03 pm (UTC)
I really am not sure what state my brain is in these days, given that half the time I think I've left it at home when I find myself forgetting what I'm supposed to be doing, but if a gently-ish used one-time-PhD brain is of any use to you I'll try to email you a few neurons! *g*
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 08:55 pm (UTC)
You had me at " ...one-time-PhD brain", since the best I can offer is "cruelly used reporter's brain."

Drop a neuron or two in the mail, and they will be greatly appreciated. Heh.
maruad
Jul. 12th, 2012 12:28 am (UTC)
Well Zombie Kaffyr, I hope things work out for you on the brains front. They seem to be in short supply within my own skull so, though I feel your pain, I can't share my brain.

On second thought, were you planning on traveling through the multiverse? If so, shouldn't you be saying "I need branes!"?
kaffyr
Jul. 12th, 2012 10:52 pm (UTC)
On second thought, were you planning on traveling through the multiverse? If so, shouldn't you be saying "I need branes!"?

Kewl! Your mentioning this made me work my real brain, because I couldn't for the life of me figure out what you were talking about. And now I do and I am bloody impressed, and laughing at the same time. Thanks!

Also Zombie kaffyr is now my official name for me on my Non-Thinking daze Days. Hurrah!
time_converges
Jul. 12th, 2012 12:38 am (UTC)
As soon as I find mine, I'll be glad to share. :) I'm blaming the summer heat for my zombie-ness!
kaffyr
Jul. 13th, 2012 03:34 pm (UTC)
Well, I can add heat to the list of things for which I blame my lackwittedness. Age, the Internet itself (the brain cell destructiveness of which much can be said and lamented), the lack of vegetables in my diet ....)
a_phoenixdragon
Jul. 12th, 2012 12:53 pm (UTC)
You can have all of mine, lol!! Doing @#$! all for me at the mo'...
kaffyr
Jul. 13th, 2012 03:35 pm (UTC)
So we can be lackwitted together! Yay!
( 23 comments — Leave a comment )

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