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Dept. of Just Keep Swimming

Update on a Down Day

My mum went back into hospital on Saturday, one day after they released her to go home.


My brother is almost overwhelmed with this, and is angry that he was not as intimately involved in the release plan as he had been assured he would be. It became clear within 24 hours that mum could not care for herself without help at home, help that my 87-year-old stepdad, as vigorous as he is, simply could not provide.

So it's back in, and I
can imagine what she's feeling. I can't talk to her, because she refuses to have a phone in her room, saying it's too expensive. Gah ... I talked twice with Mac on Saturday, once when he really was overwhelmed and once when he'd regained a bit of equilibrium. I told him that I would do all I could from here; I said I could call doctors, I could bug the hospital, that he didn't have to take it on alone. I talked to him again briefly on Sunday, but haven't heard from him today. As soon as I get a break in deadline and union stuff, I'll give him a call.
Just keep swimming, just keep swimming ....



This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/257794.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.

Comments

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )
lost_spook
May. 6th, 2013 04:19 pm (UTC)
Aw, I'm sorry. Sounds as though you're doing all you can though. :-/
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 07:37 pm (UTC)
Trying to. And just this afternoon, I hear from my son that he and the crazy ex have moved out of her family's home down in southern Indiana, and ... back in to an apartment together. He's going to go to school part time and "take care of her."

I. Give. Up.

It's gonna be a fanfic night, I can tell. After I've finished a couple of union things, that is. Sigh. Then fanfic. I am going to need it.
lost_spook
May. 7th, 2013 04:38 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear... ♥
viomisehunt
May. 6th, 2013 04:35 pm (UTC)
You have my prayers. Hold on.
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 07:38 pm (UTC)
Thank you. I think I should send off a few prayers myself, asking for patience and perhaps a little wisdom. And the strength to hold on. That's the secret with prayers, I think. Ask for the strength to get through things, don't ask for the things to end. Sigh.

(By the way, I don't think I ever told you how much I like your icon. Martha as a mermaid is absolutely charming.)
a_phoenixdragon
May. 6th, 2013 04:46 pm (UTC)
Oh honey...

*hugs you hard*
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
*receives hug gratefully*

See what I said to lost_spook above, and you can see how much more interesting the day has gotten since I posted.

Fanfic. Yup. Fanfic.
a_phoenixdragon
May. 7th, 2013 12:23 am (UTC)
Yeesh...that's what keeps me sane most of the time - fanfic. Writing or reading (though I'm guilty of reading far more than I should - and way more than writing - eek!)

*HUGS*
elisi
May. 6th, 2013 08:00 pm (UTC)
I'll keep you and all your family in my thoughts and prayers. And hope you can keep afloat one minute at a time?
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 08:46 pm (UTC)
And hope you can keep afloat one minute at a time?

That's the best advice I've heard all day. *g*

And I think I'm going to take it. I'm focusing on a story about my local park district, which is dealing with a collapsed tennis court building, and trying to figure out how to fix it without destroying the outdoor pool deck that's eight feet from the demolished wall. (Flooding) ... so while I focus on making this story readable and relevant, I don't have to think about my mum, my son, or even my malfunctioning body. Heh.
azalaisdep
May. 6th, 2013 08:05 pm (UTC)
Entirely the wrong sort of "interesting times". We've indirectly experienced some similar issues with older relatives over here in the UK - there just isn't enough flexibility on the spectrum between "needs to be in hospital" and "can cope unaided at home". How 'bout a campaign to bring back old-style convalescent homes?

Wishing I could package up virtual patience and strength and send them through the ether. Fanfic sounds like an excellent placeholder...
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 08:49 pm (UTC)
I'm sorry to hear you're dealing with this sort of thing, no matter how indirectly. It hurts the heart, doesn't it?

there just isn't enough flexibility on the spectrum between "needs to be in hospital" and "can cope unaided at home". How 'bout a campaign to bring back old-style convalescent homes?

You cannot believe how very much I agree with this! Although the care in Canada that my mum is getting is much better in many ways than that which she could get if she were down here in Chicago, there is one thing here — that temporary convalescent home idea, albeit ruinously expensive under the American system — that they apparently don't have, at least in my corner of Canada. My brother is wrestling with that now.

(Oh, and, per your icon, I've been drinking tea by the gallons over the last couple of days.)
aililinnea
May. 6th, 2013 08:12 pm (UTC)
Oh, I'm sorry to hear things are complicating themselves again. Hang in there.

About your son - my kids are not old enough for serious relationships yet, but when they are, I plan to remind myself that I had some highly questionable relationships in my time and managed to get past them. I hope he does too.
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 08:50 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'm hanging right now, and hoping that the fingernails are strong enough to last. Heh.

As for my wonderful, frustrating first-and-only-born ... he's 29, and this is his life. But dear sweet lord, this one's hard to watch happening.
maruad
May. 6th, 2013 09:10 pm (UTC)
You have my sympathy. It is a difficult balance.
kaffyr
May. 6th, 2013 09:51 pm (UTC)
Thanks. I'll just keep swimming; it's the only thing I can do.
mack_the_spoon
May. 7th, 2013 04:24 am (UTC)
So sorry. I will definitely keep you and yours in my prayers.
kaffyr
May. 7th, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC)
Thanks you, my dear.
livii
May. 7th, 2013 04:28 am (UTC)
So sorry, sweetie. Thinking of you.
kaffyr
May. 7th, 2013 03:29 pm (UTC)
My thanks for the good thoughts. Everything helps.
lonewytch
May. 7th, 2013 11:36 am (UTC)
Sending hugs sweetie. Keep on swimming. xxxx
kaffyr
May. 7th, 2013 03:30 pm (UTC)
Thank you; I've become relatively adept at the existential breast stroke. Heh.

Edited at 2013-05-07 03:32 pm (UTC)
lydy
May. 7th, 2013 03:16 pm (UTC)
So, you know those little floaty things that they put on toddlers' arms when they go in pools before they can swim very well? Do they make those for real life? Because I would totally buy you a pair.

Warm thoughts heading your direction.
kaffyr
May. 7th, 2013 03:31 pm (UTC)
Heh. As I told lonewytch, I've become relatively adept at the existential breast stroke. Thanks; water wings might come in handy at that!
azalaisdep
May. 7th, 2013 06:44 pm (UTC)
Water wings for life! Speaking as someone who still feels at 41 as though she's only pretending to be an adult and will eventually get found out, if anyone finds out how to get hold of those, let me know. I'd pay good money :-)
kaffyr
May. 7th, 2013 07:18 pm (UTC)
who still feels at 41 as though she's only pretending to be an adult and will eventually get found out,

If it makes you feel any better, I'm 57 and I'm still trying to figure out how I got here and why anyone actually think I know anything. Heh.
apostle_of_eris
May. 12th, 2013 04:03 am (UTC)
So her hospital bills are well into five digits if they haven't gotten to six yet, but a phone is an extravagance.
Fwiw, if that's the way it is, you ought to be . . . I won't say used to it, but unsurprised by now.

A life lesson it was especially hard for me to learn is that you can't do things for people, only with them.

p.s. What electronic channel does your offspring frequent most? I want to say ENABLING IS NOT "HELPING".

( 27 comments — Leave a comment )

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