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Dept. of On the Road, In the Air

Waiting in Toronto

I'm headed back to Nova Scotia for a week to see my Mom (it's funny; sometimes I think of her as my Mum and sometimes I think of her as Mom. I grew up calling her Mummy, then Mum, and when I moved to the States, the "u" elongated in my mouth and my mind.)


I know I've said this before, and I will be elated if fate once again proves me and the Doctors and everyone else wrong, because that has happened, but I believe this will be the last time I see her alive. I am going to make the absolute best of it, and make it as good a visit with her as I possibly can.

She never left hospital after going in in April, although they now allow her out for day trips and such (very weird to have a medical "day trip", but it's a small Nova Scotia hospital, and the care is, in some ways, very very personal.) The reasons she never left are legion, but topping the list are returning cancer (now back in the abdomen and the spine), and continued confusion that prevents her from caring for herself completely.

My step-dad is tied up in knots because he thinks he can care for her, and is determinedly ignoring the fact that he's 87, partly blind and deaf, and ... well, he's amazing for his age, but no, he can't take care of her. It's tearing him apart because he misses her, and he knows that she's dying. He wants her to die at home. That's not going to happen.

BUT ... but, they are letting her come home for one night, maybe two, while I'm there, because they feel I can handle anything that might come up. (cue internal thoughts of "Jesus God on a Goddamned Crutch are they Crazy?", but I am taking a cue from Step-dad Rob and determinedly ignoring those thoughts.) I think this will make everyone involved much happier - or at least it has the potential to do so.

So that's good, neh?

I have decided that I will try to take some pictures around Wolfville, and maybe some of my brother and my Mom. If any of them are good, I may upload them so you can see the people I've been talking about. And maybe there will be other neat things to talk about.

And I still have to talk about the New Doctor and the Departing Doctor.

Other thoughts: Getting up at 4 a.m. for a 6:10 a.m. boarding time was rough, especially since I didn't sleep much the night before. At least Porter gave me a free breakfast. They really are the tops in airlines, at least in my books. Pity they don't fly more places.




This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/267002.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.

Comments

( 12 comments — Leave a comment )
a_phoenixdragon
Aug. 16th, 2013 04:28 pm (UTC)
Oh honey...I hope you have the best visit ever with her - and that everyone finds joy and love within it. Blessings to your stepdad and your family in Nova Scotia. And as always, I send my love...

Hope you got a bit of rest on your flight.

*hugs you hard*
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:37 pm (UTC)
Hi there, my dear; no, I got no rest on the flight, because I'm always too busy looking out the window, but I did completely conk out once I got in. I've had my first very good visit with Mom, and plan to post a little bit about it.

*hugs*
pitry
Aug. 16th, 2013 07:17 pm (UTC)
*hugshugs*

I'm hoping this isn't the last time you see her, even if it feels that way. But yeah - make the best of it. And make the best of it the next time, too. *hugs*
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:38 pm (UTC)
Thanks for the hugs.

Mom and I had a really good talk during our first visit this morning, plus lots and lots of hugs and hand holding, which is very important to both of us. And she wanted to know that I understood that she's dying. I assured her I did, and we're as comfortable as possible with it. Which is a tremendously positive thing, so I don't want it coming off as a very negative thing to say.

gerisullivan
Aug. 16th, 2013 09:21 pm (UTC)
Remember to take care of yourself while you are visiting with and taking care of your Mom. Love to all, both near and far.

I look forward to seeing whatever photos you end up posting.
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
Hello, my dear! I'm taking care of myself, and have had a first very good visit with Mum. I hope to post a picture of her today.
apostle_of_eris
Aug. 16th, 2013 10:32 pm (UTC)
I wish you pleasant memories of your visit.
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:40 pm (UTC)
Thank you, my friend. You understand - and yes, I am collecting very pleasant memories.
mack_the_spoon
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:49 am (UTC)
I'm glad you'll get to be with her. Many hugs, and I pray that you and your family will be surrounded with grace and peace.

Edited at 2013-08-17 07:49 am (UTC)
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:41 pm (UTC)
Thank you, my dear. My mother is full of grace, and that brings me peace.
lost_spook
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:50 am (UTC)
:-/

I do hope it all goes as well as possible. I'm sorry it's all so hard. ♥
kaffyr
Aug. 17th, 2013 07:45 pm (UTC)
things are, thus far, going very well, and I have had a good first visit with my mother. I'm looking forward to another visit tonight and again tomorrow. And thanks so much for your thoughts.

Edited at 2013-08-17 07:45 pm (UTC)
( 12 comments — Leave a comment )

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