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Dept. of Ever So Quickly, Part Deux

Preparing to Leave

Have seen my mother this morning, and will see her again in about an hour, for about an hour. That will be it for this visit, since I spend tonight 60 miles away in Halifax with my brother.

But we have spoken, and I've held her hand as she slept, and I have assured her that whither she goes, I will go, and that I am fully confident that I will see her again. And that when she closes her eyes on this world, she will open them again on another one.

She was happy with what I said. I am not a Christian, but the words I gave her have satisfied her. That I believe them in a completely different way than she does - that I don't believe that her savior is the gate, but just one gate - she either need not know, or she does know, and is happy to ignore. What is important is that we both believe we will meet again.

Martin Gardner talked about the leap of faith that must be taken by a human who believes in logic, when that human also believes in some sort of god. I'm paraphrasing him badly here, I know. Well, I, too, take that leap of faith. I choose both the irresistible and immutable world of physics, and the numinous. I refuse "either/or" and therefore my mother and I will meet again.

That we both know it makes this visit a success.

This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/268213.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.

Comments

( 8 comments — Leave a comment )
azalaisdep
Aug. 22nd, 2013 09:11 pm (UTC)
I'm so very glad, for both of you, that it went so well. (Apart from your poor back, which I hope will soon be able to ease up!)

Still thinking of you both, and wishing you a smooth and straightforward trip back.
kaffyr
Aug. 23rd, 2013 11:46 am (UTC)
Thank you muchly; I'm typing this as I prepare to head out to Halifax airport, and I am now very much looking forward to reunion with my Best Beloved.
a_phoenixdragon
Aug. 23rd, 2013 12:55 am (UTC)
I'm so glad it went well for you both - and that together you found a measure of peace...blessings to you both. Hope she feels our love!

*HUGS*
kaffyr
Aug. 23rd, 2013 11:42 am (UTC)
a measure of peace

This. So much this. We had to measure it out in small doses, but it was most definitely there.
pitry
Aug. 23rd, 2013 02:59 am (UTC)
*hugshugs*
kaffyr
Aug. 23rd, 2013 11:44 am (UTC)
*accepted with grateful alacrity*
marence
Aug. 23rd, 2013 03:42 pm (UTC)
You are really blessed to be able to make peace over faith with your mother. I'm glad that your trip, which had the potential to be trauma/drama filled, was good.
kaffyr
Aug. 23rd, 2013 06:49 pm (UTC)
Thanks - there was a certain amount of trauma, but almost no drama. I vary between being very calm about it and deliberately not thinking about specifics of the visit for fear that I'll start connecting too emotionally to the reality. Time for that when I'm home with my Best Beloved. And I can, and do, take comfort in the happiness I brought my mother.
( 8 comments — Leave a comment )

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