This has been a hell of a year. Frustration, and loss, and death, woo.
So as I was driving with BB to our friends' house for Thanksgiving, I found it hard to do what I normally do on this day; be grateful for everything that I have. I was able to say, "I'm so lucky to have friends," and then I stopped dead. What else did I have to feel thankful for?
Well, that was foolish. I knew it, but I'm kind of bruised right now, and the bruising makes it hard to think or feel efficiently. And I kept thinking of all the defeats, and the losses, and the cuts and bruises ...
But luckily, I eventually remembered other things.
I really do have so much to be grateful for - my health isn't good, but it's not nearly as bad as it might be, not nearly as bad as that which so many of my friends deal with.
I have had a tough year, yes, but I was surrounded by people who loved me, supporting me through all the tough times.
There have been defeats, but there have been a few victories.
There have been losses (so much easier to say in the passive voice), but I am working on remembering that they aren't, perhaps, losses, just detours and delays.
And I kept coming round and round again to, "I have friends. I am loved. I can love in return."
And that is wonderful.
Thank you all.
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