I was too tired last night to post, although I'd planned to, since I had at least one or two things to be happy about, or certainly things about which I could be positive. But after a long union meeting (a good one, which was one of the positive things I wanted to mention), I really couldn't summon the mental acuity necessary to post.
I'm a little like that right now, and believe me, I'm staggering off to bed as soon as I finish this. But I wanted to say this to all my online friends before I'm out like a light:
If your day today was a good one, I want you to know that I'm happy for you! Whether it was a sunny day, or a great creative idea you were able to put down on the page, or an unexpected job offer, or a cat to pet, or a hug from a child, or an unexpected embrace from someone you'd been afraid was mad at you, or a successfully completed job that you didn't expect to finish, or a transcendentally beautiful passage of poetry or prose - anything that made you happy today is a treasure, and I'm glad you found that treasure.
If your day today sucked; if it was full of grey hopelessness, or red-eyed rage, or black despair; if there were setbacks, or if you hated yourself for bad reasons - if you hated yourself for what you thought were good reasons; if words escaped you when you wanted to put them on a page, or if they escaped you when you didn't want them to come out, and you hurt someone else, or fucked up your own plans therewith; if the rain ruined your dress, or you failed a test; if all the godawful things that can happen to you happened; if you lost someone, or misplaced yourself; know this:
I am glad I know you. I think you're interesting. I have faith in you. If you need a hug, you've got one. If you need someone to talk to, I'll try to be there. If you don't want to talk about it - whatever "it" is - then I can put up silly cat videos, or squee about things we both like. And even more important than all that? You are cool. You are creative. You are kinder than you think, wiser than you think, less bad than you're afraid you are. If the Black Dog is visiting, it can be chased away - maybe with difficulty, maybe not soon enough (not nearly soon enough; I know). If your blood chemistry is tricking you into thinking all the dark things, I can't change that, but I can help you chant the mantra: it's just blood chemistry; hold on. I like you. Other people think you're awesome - and they're right.
So, yeah. Just wanted to say that.
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