kaffyr (kaffyr) wrote,

Dept. of Just Keep Swimming

Whiplash and such

My Christmas season, my holiday season, has been rather schizophrenic, in the non-medical sense of the word. The first couple of weeks were actually pretty good. I've mentioned that we got most of our Christmas presents purchased early on, and that they were things that made us feel good to buy. I also got out almost two dozen cards, something I haven't done in several years. All of those were good things.

BB and I got our Christmas tree, albeit a couple of days late, and we finally got it decorated on Sunday. That, too, was good; it was much more bushy than we'd realized, and took up all our usable ornaments. I even had to go out to find more garland. That was incredibly difficult, since apparently everyone in Chicago this year wanted ordinary silver sparkly garlands. I went to five different places to find some garland, and eventually found a fairly suitable substitution for what I wanted. (The downside is that I swear it smells faintly of skunk. BB thinks it's just an odd plastic smell, but it is a bit jarring if I get my face too close to it. The obvious answer, of course, is not to smash my nose into it. Heh.)

Since FB and Ms Emily are spending Christmas at her family's, we had early Christmas here for them on Sunday night. It was extremely pleasant - we watched The Snowman and It's a Wonderful Life, the latter being an all-time favorite of all four of us. (I like Ms E for many reasons, and her love of It's a Wonderful Life is one of them.) They gave me a TARDIS tea infuser, and Ms E said she wants to keep giving me a TARDIS-themed gift every Christmas. Yet another reason to like her!

So, all of those things were to the good. So was the fact that I found a small goose and a small turkey that I plan to cook for Christmas dinner.

But other things have started dragging me down, and I'm struggling to fight them off.

The onrushing employee transition period between Old Evil Overlords and New Evil Overlords is becoming more overwhelming, even though I suspect I'm handling some of the more technical online bits of the transition better than some of my editorial colleagues. New Evil Overlords prefer to do every thing - every fucking thing - online, and that tends to throw some of us. I found myself giving advice to other reporters on how to navigate getting  your tax information into their system, and I'm really not the one who should be doing that.

Another nagging annoyance: Since we're going to be moving from a business Gmail account to a (ptui) Outlook account with very limited storage space, I've been trying to work out a way to set up my own personal "business" Gmail account, with the same name as the old one (I should be able to use the same address name once the Old Evil Overlords purge their particular Gmail account of my name.) In the meantime, I'll be bringing all my stored emails to a holding gmail account that I've had, unused, for a couple of years. All of which you didn't need to know, but that's what's been  preying on my mind.

I've been the point person for the union in dealing with vacation transition problems. Those are far too involved to talk about here, but yesterday we ran into a problem because neither company appears willing to pay the accrual costs that would effectively give us next year's paid vacations. (One thing we all consistently forget is that the vacation we use in one year was actually accrued, on paper at least, the year before. If we come into the new company without either it or the old company agreeing to pay that accrual, we may not have vacation for next year. So there's that. And ... I ended up telling you all about it anyway. I cannot keep my mouth shut, can I? The upshot is that the job changeover has become such a weight on me that I ended up dreaming about it much of last night.

I also have begun to feel under the gun again in terms of getting my new editor enough story material. This one is a more irrational fear.

And last night I had a minor dissolution into tears because I abruptly really, really didn't want to host Christmas dinner. I didn't feel as if I'd have the time to put it together, I didn't feel as if we have the space to make it enjoyable for nine people, I didn't have what I consider a clean place to host it in ....

AAAAAAAAAAAAaaaaauuuuughh! My Brain Isn't Being Logical, and I Am Disapproving of It!

So right now, I'm going off to the home office to see if I can get myself turned around. If I can't do that by the end of the day, I am going to risk my friendships with at least two or three groups of people and tell them that, with many very honest apologies, I can't do Christmas. It's a bit unforgivable (wait, that's like saying "a bit pregnant," isn't it?) but I think it may be a realistic mental-health option for me. I shall know before 6 p.m. or so.

Also, BB has another appointment with the endocrinologist today, and I'm going with him. The last visit was less than optimal and, although we think we'll have better results this time, I'm not looking forward to it.

Also again - nothing written for [community profile] fandom_stocking  yet. My brain isn't working. This is bad.

Fluffy bunnies, I'm just going to think about fluffy bunnies. And kittehz. Must think of kittehz.

ETA: LJ just sent me a message telling me that this post made its top 25 posts of the day. LJ is clearly lying or dying, I'm not sure which.

This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/336942.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.
Tags: evil shit, family, holiday fun, home stuff, union stuff, writing, wtf?
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