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Dept. of Because My Life Needs This

 And Now We Have Squirrel(s) In Our Heating Ducts

Yesterday, I thought (like an idiot), that it was just the system settling because, I don't know, the weight of snow on the HVAC units on the roof. 

Nope. I should have paid more attention to the cats going fucking nuts yesterday. 

They're also going nuts now. And all I can think of is "The poor thing." 

We'll be spending $300 to $600, probably, to extract the squirrel(s), and I'm praying we can do it without taking sections out of our wall, or killing the little guy(s)/gals(s). Failing that, that we send 'em to heaven quickly and relatively painlessly, and get them out before they start to smell. 

Only us, Maynard.

This entry was originally posted at http://kaffyr.dreamwidth.org/345174.html?mode=reply, where there are currently comment count unavailable comments. You can comment there or here; I watch both.


( 26 comments — Leave a comment )
Feb. 3rd, 2015 09:36 pm (UTC)
We have one in our walls. The critter control guy left his cage here from the last time we had one, so I tried baiting it again (2 marshmallows stuck together with peanut butter) and setting up in the spot in the basement ceiling where we caught the guy last time.

Came downstairs to find the trap still set, still in place, marshmallows completely gone. Little Houdini shit! Round 2 coming up...
Feb. 3rd, 2015 09:44 pm (UTC)
Marshmallows stuck together with PB; I'll have to remember that. Good luck on Round 2. My problem is that there's very little space in which to put a critter trap. We're in what's commonly called a "garden" unit, which means we're in a converted basement condo - all the heating ducts, and their openings, are in the ceiling, and very small. Sigh. But the guy is coming on Thursday. Hopefully, Mr. Squirrely can survive until then. It's the lack of water that's worrying to me. Which is completely, utterly irrational. I can't feed the little bugger, I know, but I'm having to restrain myself.
Feb. 3rd, 2015 09:54 pm (UTC)
Oh no! I hope you can get that sorted with minimal distress (both for you and for the squirrel!).
Feb. 3rd, 2015 09:59 pm (UTC)
Oh, lord, I'm hoping so, but the logical part of my mind is very stonily informing me that the best I can hope for is the critter guy finding an ex-squirrel quickly. The illogical part of my mind is putting its fingers in its ears and singing "la-la-la" very loudly. But that probably won't change the situation.

*wanders away, singing "la-la-la" at the top of her metaphorical voice*
Feb. 4th, 2015 01:20 am (UTC)
Bless...what a terrible thing to discover because yes, it can be so hard moving them, but leaving them there isn't an option either! A true damned if you do, damned if you don't situation...

Feb. 4th, 2015 04:03 am (UTC)
Thanks for the hugs; I wish I could transfer them to the little flea-bitten critter, as I got him and/or her out of the house.
Feb. 4th, 2015 05:54 am (UTC)
Awww!! YAY!!

Feb. 4th, 2015 04:59 am (UTC)
About 14 years ago -- past the statute of limitations, I hope -- I heard a noise coming from somewhere in the room where I was watching television. Cats, I assumed -- until I saw that both cats were accounted for, and the noise appeared to be coming from elsewhere, behind a bookshelf. I looked behind the bookshelf, and there was a squirrel. He didn't look any happier to see me than I was to see him.

I planned my next step as carefully as I could. I was going to keep the cats and squirrel sequestered while I sneaked out to open the front door. Then I would shoo the squirrel outside, while valiantly attempting to keep cats in.

This, like many battle plans, failed to survive contact with the enemy. I somehow managed to get the squirrel out of the room while locking the cats in. So far, so good. The squirrel headed for the open door. Even better. Unfortunately, he then took a right turn at Albuquerque. I had recently had the unfortunate brown carpet removed and the nice wood underneath sanded and finished. As part of the drying process, all the floor vent covers had to be removed, and I hadn't got around to putting them back.

I bet you can see where this is going. Sure enough, the stupid little rodent dived into the heating ductwork. I could hear scrabbling, but there wasn't anything I could do about it. The duct cleaning company I called said that (live) squirrels were outwith their purview.

Days passed, and the scrabbling sounds got fainter. Then there was an unpleasant aroma for a day or two. Eventually I did have the ductwork cleaned, and the workers didn't mention anything about the skeleton that was presumably lurking there.

I very carefully didn't say anything about this when I sold the house. And now, well, as I said, statute of limitations. But I still feel vaguely guilty about the foolish critter that I inadvertently trapped in the dark.

And I never did figure out how the hell the damned squirrel got into my media room in the first place.
Feb. 4th, 2015 05:04 am (UTC)

Dear lord, this makes me feel so very much worse! I'm going to be praying for whoever is in my duct system to be scrabbling loudly until Thursday ....

(But it's a great story, nonetheless.)
Feb. 4th, 2015 07:22 am (UTC)
Ugh :/ I hope that gets sorted as well as possible… ♥
Feb. 5th, 2015 08:40 pm (UTC)
I'm going to post about it later today - Georgina (for so I have named the creature, arbitrarily assigning it a gender) appears to be safe from the depredations of the exterminator for now, since she's not in the heating ducts, but actually walking on top of the ducts, inside the walls. And we're not going to break down the walls, not unless Georgina kicks the bucket. The very nice critter-catcher who came to visit thinks she has a way in and out; if that's the case, she's welcome to stay in there for the winter.

If she does kick the bucket, we'll have to remove her earthly remains once they get ... ahem ... noticeable. Eurgh.
Feb. 6th, 2015 07:07 am (UTC)
Ohhh, you named her ^_^ Here's to hoping she stays well and alive indeed, and doesn't cause trouble besides! (I can never get over that icon! :D)
Feb. 6th, 2015 06:56 pm (UTC)
Feel free to gank the icon - it's from iconomicon, a one-person community which, sadly, hasn't been updated for quite some time now, but the archived icons are pretty amazing. Not all of them are to my taste, and I get the feeling that the creator and I might disagree on some things, but by and large, he did amazing work.
Feb. 7th, 2015 07:16 am (UTC)
Yes, I think I'd grabbed this one before actually :) Thanks for the heads-up!
Feb. 4th, 2015 09:34 am (UTC)
Oh no! Hope it all gets sorted! 0_o
Feb. 5th, 2015 08:42 pm (UTC)
Well, it's getting as sorted as it possible can. Georgina (for so I've named her, rather arbitrarily) is, for the nonce, free to scramble around on top of the ductwork. She doesn't appear to be in the ductwork, which makes things rather more difficult for us, as it would require us taking part of our wall out. After considering it for a bit, both BB and I find we can survive without actually trying to exterminate her. Heh.
Feb. 6th, 2015 09:18 am (UTC)
Aw, well, that's still annoying, but glad you don't need to exterminate her. (I'm amused at the Georgina - I've just been watching a thing lately where there's a character called Georgina who turns up everywhere she's told not to be - it sounds very appropriate for your guest!)
Feb. 6th, 2015 06:57 pm (UTC)
who turns up everywhere she's told not to be -

That's her, all right; I heard her this morning, which I hope means she's doing fine. And I can't believe I just said that. Heh.
Feb. 4th, 2015 04:00 pm (UTC)
Oh dear - I hope there's a favourable outcome for you and the squirrel.
Feb. 5th, 2015 08:46 pm (UTC)
First, I love that icon! And second, it appears that the little critter is going to have a favorable outcome, at least from our end. We're not going to hunt her down, as I mentioned to lost_spook and flowsoffire. Yes, I'm apparently more parsimonious about breaking into my own walls.
Feb. 6th, 2015 06:17 pm (UTC)
Thank you:) I made it myself. The hamster pic was subtitled as looking like a dog, because it looks so perky!

I'm glad to hear the squirrel gets to live another day:)
Feb. 6th, 2015 08:31 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I heard her this morning and in the early afternoon, so she's still fairly lively. and I'm happy for her.
Feb. 4th, 2015 05:07 pm (UTC)
Oh, dear. I hope this situation is resolved quickly.

LOL, though, about your cats going nuts. I'm sure Mom's ninja cat would've figured out a way to crawl into the ductwork, demolish the squirrel, then claw her way back out again, licking her chops and looking pleased with herself. ; )

Anyway, good luck to you (and hopefully the squirrel). I always feel terrible about wildlife getting stuck/ trapped anywhere.
Feb. 5th, 2015 08:49 pm (UTC)
. I'm sure Mom's ninja cat would've figured out a way to crawl into the ductwork, demolish the squirrel, then claw her way back out again, licking her chops and looking pleased with herself. ; )

Oh, that's a priceless scenario!

I always feel terrible about wildlife getting stuck/ trapped anywhere.

Yeah, that's something that's loomed large in my worry. Since the critter-catcher suggested today that Georgina - yes, I've named her - may have a way in and out, I've relaxed ever so slightly.
Feb. 6th, 2015 04:23 pm (UTC)
LOL, yes, Mom's cat lived on her own for around three months before she adopted my sister and then my mom. During that time, she honed some fairly lethal survival skills. During warm weather, she still likes to be mostly outside, sharpening her claws, climbing trees, and terrorizing small critters. In her younger days, she once chased a red squirrel (and those things move FAST) across the back yard, up a tree about 20 or 30 feet, grabbed the thing, did a U-turn on the tree trunk, ran down the tree as fast as she'd gone up it, dived under a shrub, and proceeded to demolish her prey. This all happened in about ten seconds, and if I hadn't been looking out the window at that exact moment, I would've missed it completely.

She's slowed down a little since then--she's 9 years old--but still likes to bring home "presents" for my mom.

One good thing about having her in the house (and having her stay in the cellar at night) is that she keeps the field mice at bay. My sister's two cats, who are fairly lazy, pampered house cats, do the same thing.

Anyway, I hope Georgina has a way in and out and doesn't perish inside your walls. : 0
Feb. 6th, 2015 06:59 pm (UTC)
All three of my cats are definitely indoor now, although Phil was rescued off the streets. They look interested, and occasionally, as I said, go nuts, but I'm not certain any of them could actually do what your mother's cat did. *said sotto voce, so as not to hurt my kittehz' feelings*
( 26 comments — Leave a comment )

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